


untethered pieces

by yoongoyoon (angelvenger)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Gender Confusion, Gender Identity, Genderfluid, I have the TXT boys tagged but really this is jungkook centric, Jeon Jungkook is Trying His Best, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga is Good at Feelings, huening kai is loud but soft, it's soft and fluffy and i love these boys, this is a short drabble about the journey of gender identity and expression, yeonjun noona, yoongi is so soft for jk i want to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelvenger/pseuds/yoongoyoon
Summary: Jungkook spirals just a little because Yeonjun likes to be called noona, and Yoongi is supportiveOr: just a short little fic with some soft gender feels feat. confused jungkook and it's all thanks to yeonjun noona.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook & Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga
Comments: 11
Kudos: 94





	untethered pieces

**Author's Note:**

> So there's been a lot of gender discourse recently and that, coupled with the recent 'yeonjun noona' [tweet](https://twitter.com/TXT_members/status/1358225972210724864?s=20)  
> has be in my feels. I wrote a little twt drabble but wanted to expand it just a bit more.
> 
> There's no explicit affirmation of a gender label like nonbinary or genderfluid in this. It's just a little exploration, I think.

It’s been happening for a while, and Jungkook’s seen it before, little clips on Twitter of the TXT members calling Yeonjun ‘noona’. It makes something in his heart clench but the first few times he just brushes it off as antics from the younger boys and maybe being a little bit of fan service.

It’s just _fun_ he tells himself. It’s a bit of innocent _fun_. Like when Jungkook grew his hair out and he sometimes put it up into little pigtails and space buns and something clicks into place. Or when he tries on a pair of platform boots that add some height and make him feel tall, tall, tall. Or when he looks at himself after getting his makeup done and is entranced by the shimmer on his eyelids and the swoop of eyeliner peeking out past his eye. It’s all fun, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

One day he’s walking down the hallway towards the dance studios, and he hears a cackle of laughter followed by some yells of “Noona, noona, noona!” He doesn’t think much of it, it must be one of the boys and a staff member. He turns a corner and —

Oh.

Two bodies are tussling on the floor of the hallway. A closer look, and it’s Huening Kai and Yeonjun. Kai is sitting on top of Yeonjun, and he’s squishing Yeonjun’s face between his hands. Jungkook feels something unravel inside him when Kai gently pats Yeonjun’s tummy and croons “my cute Noona.” Yeonjun doesn’t look phased, just simultaneously endeared and resigned as he lies under Kai’s weight. A beat later, they both notice Jungkook standing in the hallway, staring. The two scramble apart and bow quickly, muttering apologies for blocking the hallway.

“Sorry, Jungkook Noona —” Kai’s eyes widen, and he rushes to correct himself. “Hyung! Sunbaenim, sorry Jungkook… sunbaenim.”

Jungkook thinks he manages to wave off their apologies with a smile and stands in the hallway with eyes widened in confusion long after they scamper off. _Jungkook noona_ , Kai had almost said. A slip of the tongue after calling Yeonjun noona, but why did it make Jungkook’s heart feel like fire and ice, warring within his chest?

Jungkook doesn’t really know how it happened, but the next thing he knows, he’s sitting on a couch and there’s a slightly frantic Yoongi standing over him. Jungkook doesn’t understand why until he blinks and, oh, he’s crying.

Once he’s convinced Yoongi that he’s not hurt, at least not physically, Yoongi is still obviously concerned but is content to just sit, hand on Jungkook’s knee. The pressure of it is soft but grounding, and Jungkook focuses on it until the tears slow and then stop.

Yoongi, ever so patient, just sits and waits for Jungkook to speak, realizing that there must be a reason that Jungkook brought himself to Yoongi rather than one of the other members.

Jungkook doesn’t know where to start, so figures he might as well start at the end. The end he knows, he was just there, after all.

“You know how sometimes the boys call Yeonjun ‘noona’?” He says, voice soft from nervousness and crying. Yoongi nods.

“Well,” Jungkook continues. “I was walking down the hallway and Huening Kai and Yeonjun were there and then they were on the floor and Kai called Yeonjun ‘noona’ in front of me and then —” he stops to inhale sharply.

“And then Kai called _me_ Noona, on accident.”

Yoongi hums, picture forming but still unclear. “And that made you uncomfortable?” He questions.

Jungkook gives a sharp shake of his head. “No! No, not uncomfortable, um, it made me —” he pauses again. Stops and thinks.

Then, barely speaking above a whisper, he says “I think…I think I liked it,” and promptly bursts into tears again.

And this time Yoongi moves over and lets Jungkook curl up in his lap as best he can. Lets him feel. Lets the cries quiet and the shuddering slow. Jungkook has grown up well, Yoongi thinks. Many would crumble under the pressure they face, but Jungkook has grown as a person, physically and mentally strong but still delicate and emotional. One in a blue moon, Yoongi wishes he had Jungkook’s type of emotional intelligence.

But for now, he waits. Comforts Jungkook as best he can and waits for Jungkook to speak.

“I’m scared,” Jungkook says. Yoongi hums.

“Fear is an instinct that can guide us, as long as we don’t let it consume us.” Yoongi says. He contemplates his words for a second before adding, “But for what it’s worth, I think you’re being very brave right now, Kook-ah.”

Jungkook breathes. Something inside him feels untethered, but not in a way that it might fly away, but rather in the way that a piece of him is settling into place, or at least beginning to.

“So,” Yoongi begins. “What I’ve understood from this Kook-ah, and correct me if I’ve misunderstood, is that Yeonjun called you ‘noona’ and something about it felt right to you. But it also scared you. Is that about it?”

Jungkook nods. “But he apologized and called me ‘hyung’ right after, and that didn’t feel wrong either,” Jungkook says.

Yoongi thinks for a moment

“I’m going to say something,” Yoongi says. “And maybe we can see how it makes you feel. And if you don’t like it, I won’t ever do it again, okay?”

Jungkook nods. He thinks the care in Yoongi’s voice might be enough to make Jungkook cry again. He jerks back to attention when Yoongi speaks

“I need you to know that I am so proud of you, Kook-ah,” Yoongi starts. “Hyung is proud of you.”

Yoongi grabs Jungkook’s hand and makes eye contact.

“Oppa is proud of you.”

The little untethered piece inside Jungkook burns like it’s being welded into place, secured so it can’t escape. He thinks about how he didn’t consciously come to Yoongi, but maybe this is why he’s ended up here.

Yoongi, all sharp words and soft edges and contradictions. Yoongi might not be his usual comfort person, but Yoongi is there, soft, strong, and patient. Yoongi listens intently whenever Jungkook speaks and offers solutions that are never too pragmatic nor too fanciful. They just are. Maybe like Jungkook just _is_.

Jungkook lets out a cry that borders on a wail, and then he’s back in Yoongi’s arms. He shoves his face into Yoongi’s neck and holds on as tight as Yoongi’s body allows.

“Happy tears or sad tears, Kook-ah?” Yoongi asks.

“H-h-happy,” Jungkook manages to choke out.

Yoongi softens even more, and hugs Jungkook just a tick tighter. Yoongi thinks about when he joined Bighit, how he came to be in Bangtan, and thinks the world must have aligned to allow him this moment with the very special human sobbing into his neck.

Maybe one day he’ll stop being surprised at the breadth of Jungkook’s emotions, and the depth of his courage. His courage to come to Seoul to become a singer, his courage to get on stage and pour his heart out. His courage to come to Yoongi today and bare a piece of himself and allow Yoongi the privilege to be there.

Jungkook’s courage doesn’t stop that day, either. Yoongi sees his courage when he presses a soft kiss to Yoongi’s tear-soaked neck and he shyly whispers,

“Thank you, oppa.”

Yoongi sees it when he lets Jin fuss over Jungkook when they get back and lets him pull his hair into pretty pigtails and add some butterfly clips, adding one to Yoongi’s hair for good measure.

Yoongi sees it when he comes back to the dorm one day to find Jungkook in the kitchen, crying over some books on the theory of gender and identity that Namjoon had bought and lovingly bookmarked and highlighted relevant passages.

Yoongi sees it when Jungkook, voice shy, calls Jimin and Hoseok ‘oppa’ one day after dance practice and gets tackled to the floor, kisses raining down on his face.

Yoongi sees it when Jungkook comes out of his room one day wearing a pretty black skirt that floats down from his tiny, tiny waist, and Taehyung, after staring open-mouthed, loudly demands that he wants a skirt too, but perhaps his can be green instead of black. 

And maybe one day Kai overhears Jungkook calling Yoongi ‘oppa’ and smiles to himself. And if he hugs Yeonjun just a little tighter that day, nobody needs to know why, he’s just happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I think one day I might want to write JK and each of the member's reactions/journeys a little more in-depth, but for now, here it is.
> 
> Twitter is [@yoongoyoon](https://twitter.com/yoongoyoon)  
> CC is [@yoongoyoon](https://curiouscat.qa/yoongoyoon)
> 
> I usually write filth but I got in my feels and wrote this instead. Come scream at me about it :)


End file.
